What Being an Adoptee Taught Me, boy, adopted

What Being an Adoptee Taught Me – Thrive on Adversity

When the going gets tough, the tough get going – This isn’t just a quote, it’s an ethos.

My adoptive mother always taught me the importance of not quitting when life gets tough. You push on through your dark days and you must learn to conquer your inner demons. We all have struggles, we all have a story that no one will ever understand or see. I taught myself how to fight. Not on how to fight with my fists, but instead to learn to fight with my actions. Prove them wrong. Prove that you’re worth it. Don’t let doubters stop you from accomplishing your goals!

What Being an Adoptee Taught Me – Thrive on Adversity

Yes, you will have struggles you will have to overcome but that’s the point of a goal. Goals are hard to capture, but the reward is worth it. Each struggle will have new challenges that you will have to learn to overcome. But if you choose to stop just because the challenge is hard, then you don’t deserve that goal! Don’t be like your peers. Follow your own path.

Don’t be like your peers. Follow your own path, even if you have to carve out a trail yourself. Never give up. The work you will have to do to get to your goal will be brutal, but listen to me when I say, “YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE HERE FOR A REASON.”

I’ve always tried to find the true meaning, the true purpose of life. But the matter of the fact is, life doesn’t have a meaning or a purpose to it. We shape our own future because our lives are never guaranteed. Don’t waste your life sitting at home playing video games or some other shit that’s going to rot your brain. Get off your butt and do something with the life you’ve been given. Our lives are not made for us to just sit around and do nothing with. Life is so much more than that.

Being an introvert isn’t about being quiet all the time. The quiet have the loudest minds. My head is always buzzing with new ideas. Many introverts prefer listening to speaking and working alone over working with a group. I’ve found with my time in solitude, that success is built when you’re not waiting for it. You have to go after it, and that there’s nothing wrong with going about it alone. Being alone isn’t always a bad thing. It clears the mind of any distraction. All you have to focus on is you. Success is created not born. Just look at Elon Musk or Cristiano Ronaldo, both were born from nothing and made something out of that. You don’t have to be born in success in order to have success.

What are you willing to do in order to capture your goals and make your dreams come true. Success is achieved in the fires of Mount Doom (Lord of the Rings reference). You won’t find success happy times. Success is not easy to find and will not be easy to get. Are you willing to push yourself until you drop? Always remember: Pain Is Temporary.

My life has been anything but easy. I was born in Tianjin, China. My birth parents abandoned me when I was a day old. I was then marked as a ward of the state and placed in a state-run orphanage until I was 3. I’ve faced racism because of the color of my skin and I have faced bigotry from people who will never understand the pain of an adoptee. I have trust and abandonment issues. I was also diagnosed with PTSD from my early experiences in the orphanage. The people I should have trusted most abandoned me.

Being an adopted is a struggle I’ve learned to overcome (sort of…). It’s something I’ve struggled with for my entire life and probably will struggle with for the rest of my life. We all have scars that will never heal. We all experience pain. Either from people, places, or events. But we must learn to overcome these scars. These scars should never define who you are. That’s one mistake I don’t plan on repeating. I used to define who I was based on my past. I used to use my past as an excuse to get out of any situation that I didn’t want to be in or do. But I found out that using your past as an excuse is what losers do. And I’m no loser. Your past should never be an excuse. You’re too traumatized, so what? Are you just going to sit at home and do nothing? No! You’re going to get off your ass and do something to beat your scars. Prove them wrong. By sitting and doing nothing, you let your scars and your past win. Don’t let your past take over and rule your life. To quote Rocky Balboa: “You’re better than that!”

We all strive to be someone greater than ourselves. We all want to make a difference and leave our mark in this world. The only way to accomplish that though is to try. Try your hardest at everything you face. Scars are what make us strong. Our past molds us into the beings we are today. Our time on this Earth is short. It’s not fair and it will never be. The way we beat the hourglass of life is to do something with the life we’re given. We are human beings. We have our faults and blunders. That’s just a part of being human. But the key is to not give up when you fall. We will all face encounters in our life that will try and deter us from our true path. You have two options then. One, follow the pack. Two, get out of the rut you’re in and carve your own path.

Another key to thriving on adversity is with family. The family you are born with isn’t always te family you end up with. A family is more than blood. Family is the glue that keeps us whole again when we’ve hit our lowest points.

Turn your life around with the fact that you’re worth it. You are here for a reason. We all are. Find your purpose and make your life one in a million. Life is tough on us for a reason, to weed out the weak. You can either validate it or push on through.

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