This article was last updated on September 5, 2017
Fear is to be afraid of someone or something due to the likelihood of it being dangerous, painful, or threatening
How is fear developed and why is it detrimental to a person’s growth and development in life? Fear is taught and instilled in a person through his or her upbringing. Most of the time fear in life is never really taught to a child, but it is witnessed in the adults that the child is surrounded by. Fear is your safe comfort zone that hinders you from taking positive risks. I speak of risk because in my opinion it is a companion of fear.
When fear enters your mind, risk quickly follows. Our parents taught us that education through college and a career with a healthy salary is the right path in life. They tell us to go to college, get a job, get married, and have children.This is what most people hear growing up.
Preconditioned Fear
This is the start of your safety net and comfort zone. Your upbringing and the expectations that people around have are actually structured to limit risk as much possible and to make sure your life is secure. What your parents don’t tell you is that there is no way to escape failure and obstacles in life, because fear is always tucked away in the subconscious.
Now I know you’re thinking that risk and fear shouldn’t be as prominent in an adults as they are in children. However, the conditioning of the mind by a child’s parents has a lasting effect on the conscious and subconscious. Adult issues are different when fears and risks are involved.
Responsibility comes with the territory of being an adult, and becomes the primary reason for fear not leaving.
Fear is the master of adult responsibility. Fear of losing security in your life as an adult leads to a life of limitations and mediocre expectations. Adults also fear what others think and what they may say to other adults. “What would people think and how will they treat me?” “I don’t want to look like a fool”. Quotes like this are likely said when a person is contemplating going against the societal expectation. What is the remedy for fear or how does one react when fear arises? I am here to tell you that fear can’t totally be removed from your life. Fear is needed for protection of your life in times of danger.
This means that hurt and pain is inevitable, but that not all the pain and danger is bad for you. So, there is no way to totally remove fear from your psyche, but it can be put into perspective and better understood. The way you gain control of your mind and understand fear is with self discovery. Self-discovery delivers you from total fear and enlightens you on your life’s freedom.
Self discovery is the key
I was born and raised in the inner city of Chicago IL. I was raised by a single mother that had a drug addiction. My father was also an addict, and of course he was not in the picture as much as I needed him to be. Alcohol and drugs were a staple in my childhood and fear was deeply rooted. At the age of 21 my upbringing and understanding for life was just to survive and make it to another day. I lived my entire 20’s in fear of not having enough for myself and my family. I was afraid to try new things and step outside of my comfort zone.
The fear was so deeply rooted that I accepted the fact that is was a part of everything around me. I didn’t know I was afraid, or that I wasn’t free in life. That education was not delivered to my doorstep, and if it was, I probably wouldn’t have understood what the hell it meant to live without total fear. I always thought I had my fears under control, but of course that was not true. Traveling and making friends that had a different perspective on life, helped me to understand that I had to discover who I truly was and what I wanted for my life. I couldn’t box myself in culturally any longer.
Educate yourself culturally
It was time for me to interact with other cultures intimately and socially too. This gave me a different outlook and made me want to dig deeper into my inner thoughts and dreams. I started to travel abroad, read more books (Malcolm Gladwell is my favorite author), listen to inspirational speakers and just educate myself on life in general. Finally, at the age of 33 I understand the meaning of financial freedom, mental freedom, and physical freedom. I wanted more for my life and I was not afraid to go after it. Furthermore, I now know I don’t want to work for anyone and I want to become the CEO of my life.
Quit the 9 to 5
I discovered that working 9 to 5, five days a week, wasn’t fitting for my life’s direction. Also, I discovered that writing was a passion of mine and something that I would soon fall in love with. I knew that I wanted to impact others and help guide them to being their own independent person and no longer being controlled by society. Lastly, I also discovered that I really loved fitness and being in great shape physically. My self-discovery took approximately 2 years of trial and error. The sacrifice was worth it and now I know what will totally set me free in my life.
Freedom is on the other side of fear.
Self-discovery teaches you what freedom is for your life. Self-discovery is a process of you telling yourself the truth and discovering your passions as well. When I speak of truth, I am talking about what satisfies your life and what is holding you back from growth and development. Self-discovery delivers mental freedom, financial freedom, and emotional freedom. These three things are determined by you, only once you have truly discovered yourself.
There are tools that will be needed to help you along on your journey to conquer fear. Being alone, reading books, traveling, listening to fearless speakers, and interacting with fearless individuals are some of the tools that will lead to discovery of one self. Being alone or dating yourself as some may say is the key tool of them all. This means you get to process knowledge and interactions that you gain on your own, without outside influences.
You now have your own opinion and have come to that opinion with the knowledge that you have gained from the other tools that were utilized as well. These tools will have to stay with you forever after the initial self-discovery. This is just the start of conquering your fears. Life will throw some things at you that will always test you and your discovery. Use these tools as armor in your battle with life.
Fear is champion
Fear is the champion in many lives and only the few people that win the battle with fear are successful. F.E.A.R is False Evidence Appearing Real. Take control of your life and remove all of the false evidence. In conclusion, you are greater than your circumstances and freedom is on the other side of fear.
